Things to be grateful for

At the start of December I attended a Thanksgiving dinner at Beth Uriel (BU). This is a house or rather, a home, where young men who come from difficult backgrounds are offered a place to finish school and/or tersiary studies. A lot of the guys don't like to talk about family or their childhood years, but they are more than willing to chat about their plans for the future. Consequently the guy who I was assigned to - lets call him J - never really answered any questions I posed about his family life. But it didn't matter. Turns out our first lesson at BU, it was me who had to learn something.
It somehow occurred to me that it was up to him whether he wanted to tell me anything at all, and I declined offers from counselors at the house to fill me in on the details. Who was I to dig into his past? I decided to let him be who he wanted to be in front of me, to let him make the decision about whether he wants to tell me anything at all.  It turned out to be a good decision and in fact I don't think he would have had it any other way. He could easily have refused my tuition - there are a stock of other tutors to choose from, all people who show up once the church has directed them to BU.
But J and I have struck up a strange friendship. He stays in his world and I in mine (and I can't decide if this bothers me or not), but he knows if he wants to know something about Afrikaans, he can call me. And I know if I need to be grounded, to be reminded that life is actually much simpler than I tend to make it, there is Beth Uriel and J. He jokes around with me about my work stress, I ask him about his love of rugby and the family life at BU. Sometimes I chat to the other guys (when neither of us feel like studying), or bring him books I think he might like. I save all my Huisgenoot magazines for him, he offers me a cup of tea when we work late. I don't know if I made even a little bit of difference with his Afrikaans marks (though I sincerely hope I have!), but J was the one who invited me to the dinner and I felt really honoured to be remembered.

Little did I know that I would yet again learn something from him, instead of him from me.

The thing that struck me most about the Thanksgiving dinner - perhaps predictably so - was the bright red Wall of Gratitude. Each and every resident of the house had to write down what they were grateful for and stick it on the kitchen wall. Once everyone - guests and residents included - were gathered for dinner (a traditional American meal with turkey and all the bells and whistles, my first ever!) we all had to say what we were grateful for.

People's reactions were mixed - some were shy, some were excited. Everyone got to say something. Some were grateful for family, some were grateful for Beth Uriel. Others were grateful to have friends, a meal. When my turn came, I thanked Beth Uriel (while all the while thinking of J) for allowing me to help and for just being my friend in return. J might not know it, but our tutoring sessions helped me as much as it did him. 

The whole experience also got me thinking about the rest of my year - not just the one with J and Beth Uriel, but also at work, in my friendships and in my personal life. I have a lot to be grateful for. A lot. So now, with this year coming to an end tomorrow night, I've decided to do another list of things to be grateful for. May it inspire you all to do the same! If you can think of just one thing that you would have stuck on the BU wall, I think you have a reason to go into the new year with a smile. Here goes!

1. I got engaged to a wonderful man.
2. I got to help someone out and make a friend in the process.
3. I have a big, wonderful, colourful family (umm... I still have to do a post about Christmas, don't I?)
4. Fiance and I found a place to stay in next year!
5. My mom and I had a good, much needed bonding session on Christmas day.
6. I have been averaging 3 sessions of exercise for the past few weeks. Yay!
7. I did have writers block and a mini-breakdown (sigh, yes! I even went to a psycologist! Will tell all at a later stage, perhaps in the Christmas post..) BUT I'm writing right now and I feel like I'm learning a hell of a lot through all my stressing-outedlness! :) 
8. My lovely friend is here from Pretoria (one of the bridesmaids).
9. I now have 8 bridesmaids. Eight! I know, I know. But just think of the party we're gonna have! :)
10. I will end off the year with (yet another) dinner party in the beautiful Bo-Kaap, with my fiance and our two best friends. Isn't that the loveliest new year's party you can imagine?

Running? Tick. Planning a wedding? Tick (esp now that I've got EIGHT right hands!). Learning something? Tick. Making friends? Definitely tick!! :) :) Happy New Year friends!! I leave you with a pic of me, J and the Gratitude Wall.

 

pulling faces, of couse! :) Thank you, J!